The Closet of Me

The door to my closet was built with
Empty smiles
Tearless sorrow
Icy anger
Unsaid love
Unshared hopes

Inside I crouch among my fears
smothering myself with dresses of self-pity
covering my body with clothes of
self-hate and despair

The door to my closet is thick
impenetrable from without
except for those too brief moments
when I, bolstered by his love
open it a crack to give of my hidden self

Where's the key to that monstrous door
self-created, but despised?
I'll laugh, if you threaten to hint
that I may be a key-maker
Ha! I'll say. No! I'll deny
Helpless me

My door grows thicker with each
act of cowardice, of lethargy
here I'm stuck
for something that will never come
the love unfelt by a shattered child